Anonymous asked: hi it's me with the eating disorder again...
I don't know HOW to eat anymore :/
I've been eating what I think is a LOT lately. for example, today I had a piece of toast, 5 "melba toasts" which is a thin cracker things and a few ounces of cheese and I consider that a lot of food, like right now I feel so full that I don't think I could eat dinner tonight.
..... I just don't know anymore
I'm scared. I used to be fat, just along the line of overweight and healthy weight for my height. I've always been like that, and now I'm... well, I'm still not skinny but I've lost a lot of weight.
I'm scared that if I eat, I'll keep eating and won't be able to stop myself and then I'll have to throw it up and if I can't I'll just go cry for hours cause I feel guilty about it.
so... idk, can you convince me to eat again? cause I feel really sick and I know why, it's cause I should eat, but I just can't because it hurts too much :(

Please eat.

PLEASE.

PLEASE. 

PLEASE.

You need to eat in order to thrive, darling. You need to grow. It doesn’t need to hurt. Because YOU are beautiful. You deserve to be healthy and happy. Please darling, eat. For me?<3

Anonymous asked: to the anon with the eating disorder, you can do it.

after three years, i have finally recovered. a few days ago i weighed myself, and i was officially a healthy weight.

things will get better. don't ever lose hope. because YOU are BEAUTIFUL.

Anonymous asked: Hi, Jamie~ I dunno if there's possibly any advice you could give me about this, but I just need to get it off my chest...

I'm in love with my best guy friend, who is gay.

We joked one time about me being the future surrogate mother for his children, and while I was honored that he considered it, I honestly started to cry because I wish he could love me the same way I love him.

He's so important to me, and I want to be in his life for as long as he'll let me. I want to make him happy, even though I know he'll never love me like I want him to.

I’m really sorry to hear that. :/ Falling for someone you can’t have really hurts.

Well, I think if he wants you to be the surrogate mother of his children, he wants to keep you in his life for a long time. Continuing to be his best friend will make him the happiest guy in the world.<3

I think maybe [if you’re comfortable!] you should talk to him about your feelings. Maybe he will have something to say about them.. I don’t know. But I think it’s worth the shot-and your friendship- to lay out your feelings.

I actually read a book a while ago called ‘Naomi and Eli’s No Kiss List’ about a girl who falls in love with her gay best friend. It was really eye-opening, I really suggest it. :)

I wish you the best!

—Jamie

Anonymous asked: hi so I'm the one with the eating disorder and kind of terrible mother?
can I just say that your message made me cry? In a good way, I can assure you, but still, there re tears streaming down my face as I type this.
god, no one has ever... I don't know, said that? It's stupid because you don't even know who I am, what I look like, how much I weigh... but being called beautiful still made me feel nice, which never happens.
I've been so depressed lately, about everything. About not being good enough for others, for myself, depressed because I'm lonely and feel so ugly all the time and so guilty for eating when I know it's what I need to do to feel better... I've been an emotional and physical wreck, I can barley get out of bed in the mornings. Partly because of depression, and partly because of the... malnutrition, I guess :/
so I just wanted to say thank you, I may not believe it yet, but hopefully one day I'll be able to look at myself and see someone of worth, someone who is beautiful despite her flaws <3

Believe me, you are beautiful.

And you are strong. To be able to face your fears and problems is HUGE. It’s terrifying, and to be able to take the steps to get the help you need is so empowering.

I assure you that things will only go up from here. You are so strong and brave.

Believe in yourself. Believe you will get through this. Believe you will get better. Even if you don’t believe in yourself, I believe in you.

kaoskatt9-deactivated20110412-d asked: Thank you for making this blog, you are a wonderful human being and you give me and the rest of us hope for humanity, that not all the people out there are heartless monsters like we usually encounter. Thank you and good job <3

:) You’re so, so, so welcome. And thank you, for that.<3

Anonymous asked: so I can ask for advice here right? :/
well, I have and am trying to recover from an eating disorder. I've been struggling with body issues my whole life, but my problem has gotten really bad in the past few months, with me having lost... a lot of weight in just about a month or two...
anyways, I've been trying to eat again, but my parent's have started to notice my recent drop in weight, which really sucks :(
but anyways, struggling with... tis, the scale is my worst enemy. and today my mother forced me into her washroom and told me to weight myself in front of her so she could know how much I've lost. I stepped on and noticed I gained three pounds in 2 weeks, probably because I've been forcing myself to eat.
so anyways, now she says I have to weigh myself everyday cause she wants to know and that scares me. I'm already trying so hard, weighing myself now will only make this so much harder. I've tried talking to her, but she won't listen to me... I have to do it.
I just don't know how to be strong and feel beautiful despite that number, or how to be able to watch it go up or down every day without freaking out over it.
I just need some help, advice on how to ignore that number and still get better like I need to, I'm desperate, I don't want to get any sicker.

Of COURSE you can ask for advice. That is the REASON I made this.

Last year, for school, I wrote a speech. I wrote it on ‘True Beauty.’ I’m going to begin by posting random parts from it:

.   One way you can change people’s minds about beauty is teaching them what beauty really is.  Not being super tall and skinny but just being you.  Also, YOU need to remember that you are perfect and that you don’t need to change.  By doing these things, you will be a good role model to others and they will be able to look up to you for good advice and kind words.  Lastly, I am going to talk about Operation Beautiful.  Operation Beautiful is a mission, a mission to make sure that individuals know that they are beautiful.  On www.operationbeautiful.com there are a series of pictures and stories of what people did.  What do you have to do to let people know they are beautiful?  You write a little message on a sticky note and post it on a bathroom mirror.  Yes I know that may sound a bit random but if you want to look good you usually spend most of your time in front of a mirror.  I took this challenge and when I went to buy some books at Indigo I went into the women’s washroom a stuck a note that read “You are stronger then you think and more beautiful then you know” to a mirror.  I hope my message touched many hearts.

 Lastly, I am going to talk about how Dove is helping to change this.  Dove started a campaign called “The Dove Campaign for Real Beauty.” It started in 2004 and its sole purpose was to save others from stereotypes that are everywhere in today’s society.  They use real women of different sizes, shapes and ages to advertise what true beauty is.  Dove has aired many commercials using real people since the campaign launched and it has been truly inspiring.  Furthermore, Dove has a self-esteem fund.  This fund provides free resources to organizations that want to get rid of unrealistic beauty expectations like the National Eating Disorder Information Centre.  They also have educators ready to hold self-esteem workshops.  On the campaign’s website they have videos that promote true beauty.  My favourite is one called “Amy.” In this video there is a boy standing outside of a house repeatedly calling “Amy.” It shows him waiting for a response and on the screen it reads “Amy can name twelve things wrong with her appearance. He can’t name one.” This video makes me think about those people out there who believe in real beauty.  There is also a video about how they transform people for advertising.  All in all I think this campaign is great and can inspire people to do great things for others.

I think that everyone is beautiful inside and out and I encourage all of you to think like that too.  I think to be beautiful you don’t have to have perfect skin or be super thin, but being able to have the confidence to be yourself despite of what others think.

Just… Gosh… Darling, you DO NOT have to feel bad about yourself. YOU are beautiful. YOU are perfect. When people see you walking down the street they think “Man, she’s GORGEOUS!”

When I’m feeling down, I write on little sticky notes and hide them in places I will find throughout they day. Finding a ‘you’re beautiful’ stuck to my book is a REAL confidence booster, for me at least. Gosh, I want you to feel beautiful. Please, please feel beautiful.<3

The best thing to do is talk to your mom. Maybe right now talking to her face to face isn’t helping. I suggest writing a letter, maybe? Explain all of your thoughts and feelings and how you are going to begin your journey to high-self-esteem. She’s probably frightened for you and is stressed out about it. Usually, when things like this happen with their children, parents automatically assume they have failed. I think maybe telling her that it isn’t her fault will help her ease up a bit.

Please visit these two websites:

http://www.dove.ca/en/default.aspx#/cfrb/

http://operationbeautiful.com/

On the Dove site, make sure to watch the videos.

Here is a good site on eating disorders, and I’m pretty sure it talks about getting help: http://www.nedic.ca/

Just.. please, please try. For me? Check in with me as OFTEN as you please. I will ALWAYS be here.<3

And remember:

—Jamie.

Anonymous asked: Hi Jamie! First, you're an amazing human being for having a blog like this ♥
So, here goes..

I'm turning 20 later this year. I have no idea what I want to do with my life. Currently studying, but I don't know what I want to do this autumn, and if I want to take some courses I have to apply before mid-April. My mum (I still live at home) keeps pressuring me about getting a job, or deciding what I want to do. But well, she doesn't do it in a mean way, she tries to be supportive and make sure I don't waste my life just sitting at home. But it gets to me. I'm on the verge of having panic attacks every night. I just can't find any inspiration or motivation for anything. *Nothing* is interesting.

And on top of that (and I know this shouldn't be that big of a deal, but still...) I've never been kissed. I'm nearly 20 and I've barely hugged a guy. I tell myself that it's because I used to be really shy until I was ~15, and now because I don't have an especially wide circle of friends. We're not that much of "party animals" and we don't go to clubs that often (and when we do, I'm really uncomfortable all the time. Yeah, it's not my thing at all) so I don't really meet anyone but them. But beneath that, I can't help but feel that there's something wrong with me. I mean, surely you can meet someone without it being during a party? I know a lot of people that have. But I haven't, so it must be cos of me..

All of this is giving me really low confidence in myself, and I just feel lost. I've been so close to giving up before, and I don't want to end up down there again, but right now I don't see any way out and up from this...

- M

Hello anon friend! Thank you, very very much. :)<3

I have yet to reach that point, but I think that you should just start with doing things you love. For instince, I would do something with writing because that’s what I love to do. Maybe you enjoy sciences or history. I think doing something you love will make you the most sucessful person out there.

When it comes to relationships, after they are all worked out, it begans really fun and fluffy. But the point in which to get there? Hell. PURE Hell. It will take a lot of confusion and fear and heartbreak, but in the end I think it’s worth it. 

I personally don’t want to have to meet someone in a club. Ugh. If I was in this position, to meet people, I would maybe go to a poetry reading or a cafe or bookstore to maybe, hopefully run into someone I may like. It’s all about what you enjoy and what you hope to find and in time, that person will come.

Just a heads up…

Life is TOUGH. Life is SCARY. Life is CONFUSION. But sadly, life is INEVITABLE. You gotta go for out and do what you want and say what you feel. [Referencing Dr. Seuss, that wonderful man.] 

I wish you the best, darling. Check in with me anytime, okay?<3

—Jamie

Drop anything in my ask or email while I slumber. I will answer tomorrow!

Ps. You’re beautiful. xox